I feel like now a days, with the spiritual/yogi meditating wave surrounding California at least, I hear more and more of the magical work of karma. Karma has become our best friend and our reasoning for everything, it brings us reassurance that the wrong done to us will be balanced out with the good and viceversa, but does it really? If I am being brutally honest I don’t exactly believe in karma as a concept, I believe that yes of course the universe has a balance and wants you to live your best life but just because your boyfriend cheated on you doesn’t mean that karma is going to go and do the same to him afterwards. Karma doesn’t work that way and I think the problem begins with appointing karma all this responsibility. If karma truly worked as be good get good and be bad get bad, why do the rich keep getting richer, the poor getting poorer, the jerks (men&women) keep getting away with their shenanigans? You can be the best girlfriend, best friend, best employee EVER and you’re still likely to be lied to, cheated on, abused and used. Sounds harsh I know, but it’s true, and hear me out for a sec.
Sit down and analyze how hard you have worked towards something; a trip, a relationship, a job, school, etc. How many times have you given your 110% to many situations in your life and you don’t necessarily have gotten what you expected in return, correct? Did you land that job at Google right out of college (okay it does happen to those lucky bastards or beautiful mind creatures ..minority).. but no you probably didn’t.. even though you studied hard at school and kept your grades a 4.0 and gave it your all to your Masters Degree, someone else got it and they might not have given it half of the work you gave it so where is this karma we talk about so much in getting you what you want? Think about how many of our parents have worked their behinds like no other and gotten to the very top only to find that after many many years they end up all the way at the bottom again? Professionally, romantically? We might say it is not fair, it is no correct, but hey.. this is LIFE.
You wake up every day to your routine, to do something you believe in or to do what you have to do in order to survive because you have no other choice. And here is where I think karma got a bit confusing, we do all of this to get a particular outcome, the outcome of our desire. This is where we need to understand that life works the way the universe knows it should, not how you or me or anyone thinks our life should go. And if we keep thinking that it will work like this, we will forever keep seeing life and its misshapes as failures, whether it is failing ourselves or the universe failing us, we will forever remain disappointed. Life will give you what you need and not what you want and sometimes we need a slap in the face to get our shit together, unfortunately. Not only will the universe not work with you to get what you want sometimes, the universe will conspire against you many times in life, not because of karma, not because of that time you lied to your boyfriend or ate your roommate’s last brownie, it is because the universe is giving you a lesson, a hard one at times, so you can move on with your life and prepare you for the bigger things that are to come. Because at that moment in life you just needed that particular feeling or event to represent to you.
How many girlfriends have we not heard complain that they are almost thirty and single, how many friends have not fallen into a depressive, unmotivated state because they think they will truly be “forever alone”. Instead of complaining of the lack of, we must embrace this lack, embrace this freedom. If you are alone at that moment in life, if you do not have a boyfriend you might as well enjoy it while you can. Look at it another way, a boyfriend at that particular point in your life might have been a distraction, a distraction for you to not meet new friends, to not study abroad, to not take that job 20,000 miles away from home, to not give your 100% on your Masters, to not start your own business. Embrace your alone time, enjoy time with yourself instead of constantly thinking you should be spending it with someone else. You will get that someone else when it’s time, when you’re ready. The universe is an ever changing thing, constantly creating and destructing, taking away and giving. So let’s stop thinking of what we don’t have, of what we would want at some point in our lives and lets enjoy the chapter life is giving us now, in the present.
I think of karma as the universe existing of the good and the bad, not evil and good. I believe the thing about karma is really about the choices we, as individuals, make. Are we going to the right thing or go down the path of wrong doing which we as adults can distinguish, let’s not get hungover on right/wrong being subjective because at this point in our lives, as “adults” we’ve been hurt, we’ve hurt people, we’ve met many personalities, we’ve traveled, we’ve been screwed over and we have done the same to someone else and we have felt it, we have felt the regret of making someone feel that way or the pain of being the one on the other receiving end. At this experienced point in our lives we know what the simplest form of wrong and right is, some immature minds just seek to use this as an excuse to get away with things in life instead of dealing with life itself, but most twenty-thirty somethings know how to treat someone right, and what respect means towards another human being and towards ourselves.
Karma needs to stop serving as an excuse not to react to life, to not make decisions for yourself, to not do anything about the things that are happening to you but just take them as they are, no questions asked. Karma has become an acceptable determination for conformism in my opinion, we believe it to be the balance of it all, the way to a happy and steady life but we are way smarter than this, we should know better than to expect things to happen and make things happen for ourselves. We have to create this opportunities in our life by making choices, let’s stop refusing to make our life about solely ourselves and give that choice to our partners, our parents, our employers, friends, etc. We and only ourselves have the power to make things happen for ourselves, it all comes down to how bad do you really want it and how much are you willing to risk for it. But like I said previously, isn’t life a risk anyhow? Don’t we agree that even what we think is the right choice or the safe choice can take us the non-desired outcome. I have a friend who was in a car accident and lost all sensibility in her legs and hips, so pretty much paralyzed from waist to toe; her life changed in those 10 seconds of the car crash and she no longer has as many options as she had thought to have. Wouldn’t it suck to go back and think of all of the things you didn’t do and now will never be able to because you were too scared to take a leap, too scared of what others might think, to scared of disapproval from others and not doing whatever the fudge you want. She’s happy, my friend I mean, she is an amazing, inspiring person but she admits that her options have obviously narrowed down and she didn’t get to do many things she had wanted to. Let’s not wait for a colossal change to hit our lives and make us realize that really all we have is now, the tomorrow you think you might have might not be there or might be there in a completely different form than you expect so stop acting like you don’t have choices, grow up suck it up and make them, make the choices that will make you want to wake up everyday, the choices that will bring you to the best of you.
So instead of sinking into Netflix and pint of “diet ice cream” (yeah, keep telling yourself it’s diet) or 2 boxes of pizza, understand that life hurts, that you will be hurt by the decisions you make in your life. Yeah, you might have started your business and invested all this energy and money into it and it ends up not working out.. so whaaat! you will be so proud of yourself for actually trying and I bet you’ll have fun. Take control of your life take choices and stop waiting for things to happen and to fix themselves, go out there, risk, love, get hurt, enjoy, LIVE.